Illusive Ellipses by Rachelle Abbott

Why so much trouble over such little dots . . .? The ellipses points are used to show missing words. In a way, it is like an apostrophe being used to show a missing letter in a contraction.The trouble usually arises over when to use three dots and when to use four. (Darn those English professors who taught all the ways to use the ellipses, and now, only pieces and parts of those rules remain swirling around in your brain.) My suggestion is when in doubt, and you can’t look up the rule, use three points.

Having said that, I think the best idea is to know the exact rules and use them appropriately. Because Mystic Publishers uses the Chicago Manual of Style as the final word on editing, I will be using that text to support the rules for using ellipses.

There are essentially three methods of using ellipsis dots:

1. The three-dot method (used general works and some scholarly ones).
2. The three-or-four-dot method (used for most scholarly works).
3. The rigorous method (used for legal works and textual commentary).

I am only going to discuss the three-dot method because for our purposes of writing stories, whether fiction or non-fiction, this is the method that should be used. Only three points are used no matter where the omission occurs, whether the omission is at the beginning, the middle, or the end. It is also only three points if entire sentences or paragraphs are removed. The most common use of the ellipses points in fiction is in dialogue. It is used to show that the speaker is fading into or out of his/her own thoughts leaving things unsaid to the reader. If the speaker is being cut off either by another speaker, an event, or action, then the EM dash is used to show this. The Ellipses can also be used to show a long pause, hesitation, or fragmented speech.

Let me give a few examples:

1. “I wish I had never met you! I wish we had never kissed! I wish. . .” Slamming her fists against his chest, Brynn’s body begged for him to hold her once more. (Notice that even though the ellipses signal the end of a sentence, and the capital “s” signals the start of a new sentence, you only use three ellipses.)
2. He tiptoed to the door and leaned his ear against the cold mahogany wood and heard crumbs and shards of hushed words, “. . .please. . .my family. . .never. . .please.” (Notice that there are still only three points whether there is one word missing or many.)
3. Fidgeting with the threads hanging from the hem of her shirt, Lucy couldn’t manage to meet his questioning eyes. “I didn’t mean to . . . ,” she said through clenched teeth and searched for the right words to continue. (Notice that the comma is still used as it should be at the end of a quote and before a dialogue tag.

An example of when to use an EM dash instead of ellipses:

Wyatt took a deep breath and tried once again to help her understand, “Mom, it wasn’t my fault—".

Mom grabbed him by the shoulders, and said, “I’m not interested in whose fault it is! I just need this fixed.”

            *                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *                     

Wyatt took a deep breath and tried once again to help her understand, “Mom, it wasn’t my fault. . .”

Mom grabbed him by the shoulders, and said, “I’m not interested in whose fault it is! I just need this fixed.”

(Notice that written the first way, Wyatt is trying to explain but is interrupted by his mom. In the second example, Wyatt fades off in thought without finishing his sentence.)

I hope this helps demonstrate how to use the ellipses in writing narratives. The other rules of using the ellipsis . . . well, that is a post for another day!

Common Writing Mistakes by Richard Draude

When you're writing, are you tempted to use adverbs to punch up your pros. Don't!

EMPTY ADVERBS

Actually, totally, absolutely, completely, continually, constantly, continuously, literally, really, unfortunately, ironically, incredibly, hopefully, finally – these and others are words that promise emphasis, but too often they do the reverse. They suck the meaning out of every sentence.I defer to People Magazine for larding its articles with empty adverbs.

A recent issue refers to an “incredibly popular, groundbreakingly racy sitcom.” That’s tough to say even when your lips aren’t moving. In Still Life with Crows, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child describe a mysterious row of corn in the middle of a field: “It was, in fact, the only row that actually opened onto the creek.” Here are two attempts at emphasis (“in fact,” “actually”), but they just junk up the sentence. Remove them both and the word “only” carries the burden of the sentence with efficiency and precision.(When in doubt, try this mantra: Precise and spare; precise and spare; precise and spare.) In dialogue, empty adverbs may sound appropriate, even authentic, but that’s because they’ve crept into American conversation in a trendy way.

If you’re not watchful, they’ll make your characters sound wordy, infantile and dated. In Julia Glass’s Three Junes, a character named Stavros is a forthright and matter-of-fact guy who talks to his lover without pretense or affectation. But when he mentions an offbeat tourist souvenir, he says, “It’s absolutely wild. I love it.” Now he sounds fey, spoiled, superficial.. (Granted, “wild” nearly does him in; but “absolutely” is the killer.) The word “actually” seems to emerge most frequently, I find. Ann Packer’s narrator recalls running in the rain with her boyfriend, “his hand clasping mine as if he could actually make me go fast.” Delete “actually” and the sentence is more powerful without it.

The same holds true when the protagonist named Miles hears some information in Empire Falls by Richard Russo. “Actually, Miles had no doubt of it,” we’re told. Well, if he had no doubt, remove “actually” – it’s cleaner, clearer that way. “Actually” mushes up sentence after sentence; it gets in the way every time. I now think it should *never* be used.

Another problem with empty adverbs: You can’t just stick them at the beginning of a sentence to introduce a general idea or wishful thinking, as in “Hopefully, the clock will run out.” Adverbs have to modify a verb or other adverb, and in this sentence, “run out” ain’t it.

Look at this hilarious clunker from The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown: “Almost inconceivably, the gun into which she was now staring was clutched in the pale hand of an enormous albino.”

Ack, “almost inconceivably” – that’s like being a little bit infertile! Hopefully, that “enormous albino” will ironically go back to actually flogging himself while incredibly saying his prayers continually.

Self Editing: The Bane of Self-Publishing by Richard Draude

Think how many times you've received a reply to an email you sent out, only to noticed that your original text contained errors. It turns out that editing one’s own writing is remarkably difficult. Once they are initially missed, errors tend to become "invisible" to a writer when they review their work. Our eyes skim past them. A lot of new writers make the critical error of self-editing and think they are done.

If the publishers of writers like James Patterson, Issac Asimov, Sue Grafton, Robert B Parker, Raymond E. Fiest all require an editor to review and check their work. What makes any of us first time writes believe we are better and don't need an editor.

My co-author and I had our self-published Tyranny series picked up by a publisher in Las Vegas. What was the first thing the owner did? He tore out the first chapter (literally). We had to create a whole new chapter starting in a different place. Next he took a scene from book one and had us move into to book two. Next he underlined all the places where we did tell and not show. We sat together in a marathon session over a weekend and removed all the places he raised objection. Now the company editor is taking her turn and bringing up very good points about character development, scene description, and repetition in the story. The process is frustration at times but necessary.

I'm doing a last read-through of The Adam Eradication. I printed the entire manuscript, got away from my computer and started reading. While the manuscript is complete, and was edited twice, this read is pointing out a boat load of typos made while removing my telly pros and replacing them with pros that help the reader to see the story.

This brings to mind an elderly woman I met. She wrote a book and was very anxious to get it published. So anxious in fact she didn't want to bother having an editor read it at all. This was a huge mistake, made by those who decided to self publish.

Concerned about her book I request she allow me to send the first five chapters to the woman who did the first edit on my book. She went through the pages as a courtesy. What this editor returned shocked the woman into taking a second look and she paid the editor to run through her manuscript.

She received her red-lined manuscript back entered the edits and corrections. This writer figured she was done. I tried to convince her to have someone outside her family read through it one more time. Her reply, I made all the changes, it's ready to go.

She had 500 copies printed. After receiving cases and cases of books, her son took one home to read. He returned it to her three day later, red lined, pointing out errors on almost every page. Her concept is a good one, but instead of a book worth reading she had boxes of books that are good for little more than starting a fire.

My first editor did the work and I made the corrections. But The Adam Eradication, being my first book, I found what I considered holes in the story and proceeded to plug them. Enter a good friend (enough of a friend to tell me the truth) she did the second edit. The first thing she did was cut the last 10 chapters (48K+ words). Her analysis. Your book ends at this point. A good piece of advise. I used those 10 chapters to start the second book. (Never trash anything you've written, archive it. A good idea can be reworked to fit somewhere else)

Throughout the edit she deleted whole paragraphs as redundant. Some writer suffer from this problem some do not. I was anxious to get the story to press and rushed though the last edit. After publishing the book I gave several copies away. My friend's wife read the book and sometime later handed me her copy. She said "I love you story but --"  The book was marked with over forty sticky tabs each on a typo. Though minor typos, I learned my lesson. Fifty fire starters.

Editors cost money. Not as much as publishing an unreadable book. This mistake marks you as an amature, not serious about your craft. This kind of attitude will stop readers from ever considering reading any future work you publish, no matter how much you improve. And without someone finding your story compelling enough to look past your mistakes, no publisher will take you seriously in the future.

What can an editor do that I can't?  What can an editor do that you can't? An editor will read what you wrote, not what you think you wrote. A good editor will find your inconsistencies, help you with the language appropriate for your genre. For instance a steam punk novel's use of nouns, pronouns, adjectives, etc will be different from those used in a science fiction novel as will a fantasy fiction novel will differ from SF or romance. Next, an editor will point out your flaws in the construction of paragraphs, scene breaks and poor character development. Some writer's characters all talk the same. A good editor will point this out and help you see how to vary your character's personalities. A good editor will tell you when you've shifted you POV (Point Of View) If character A is you POV character you cannot have character B's thought in a scene or describe a scene through character B's eyes. You can if your novel is written from an omniscient POV, but few good writers use this POV anymore.

An editor will spot problems with spelling, punctuation, and grammar that can escape your notice.

Does the phrase familiarity breeds contempt. Well, familiarity with your subject can result in explanations and descriptions that are incomplete or confusing to readers. What you see in your minds eye is always what you've put on paper. An editor will ensure that your copy is intelligibly and concisely written.

You may also ask yourself why an editor is necessary when your word processing program already has spell checking capabilities. Spell check, it turns out, is only partially effective at catching problems. For example, homonyms (e.g., council/counsel) you won't find these flagged. Words used nonsensically are regularly accepted by a spell checker. These programs have nothing to say about confusing, ones needlessly wordy, jargony or telly prose.

One of the biggest helps is to join a writer's group. You read your work aloud and they critique your writing. Be advised, while most groups offer good nonthreatening environment, you need a thick skin, because it is still hard to hear your writing evaluated by others.

You took the time and effort to create a good story. Give it the polish and attention it deserves.