Deep POV is the third-person subjective taken a step beyond the
normal third-person subjective. Deep POV
shows your story through the eyes of one or more characters—one at a time
please, avoid any head-hopping. Deep POV goes into the head and heart of a
character, taking your readers beyond the action on the page, thus allowing you,
the writer, to help your readers understand your character’s thoughts, his or
her experiences, history, and feelings.
What first-person POV executes
with the I narration, Deep POV
accomplishes with third-person he or she narration.
Using Deep POV puts your readers inside your viewpoint character. They
feel story events as your hero or heroine does. What your protagonist or
antagonist sees, the reader sees. What they feel or think, the reader knows.
The reader understands automatically what is being reported are the thoughts,
feelings and intentions of your viewpoint character.
Deep POV allows writers to do away with what he thought, he felt,
he wondered, he saw, all those phrases that intrude into the fiction, that
unnecessarily encumber the story.
Once upon a time such phrases were
considered necessary, a way to let your readers know we were in the character’s
head or seeing through his or her eyes. With Deep POV, readers are in the character’s head –almost– all the
time, and no other intrusions are necessary.
A few examples of simple
sentences to show the contrast—
Third-person—
He was lost, Michael thought.
Lost and certain someone followed him into the woods.
I’m lost, Michael thought. Lost
and certain someone followed him into the woods.
Third-person Deep POV—
He was lost. Lost and certain
someone followed him into the woods.
I’m lost. Lost and certain
someone followed him into the woods.
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Third-person—
Sherry trailed her quarry down
Broadway, careful to look busy with store windows shopping on the opposite side
of the street. She giggled when she watched him slip into the Big and Tall Shop
and saw him hide behind a mannequin.
Third-person deep POV—
Sherry trailed her quarry—better
known as her ex husband—down Broadway, careful to look busy window shopping on
the opposite side of the street. She had to laugh when he slipped into the Big
and Tall Shop and hide behind a mannequin.
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Third-person—
Allen shook his head. It was
moronic, he said to himself, the way Zen fawned over his wife’s parents.
Zen threw open his mouth, faking
a long laugh.
A moron, Allen thought again,
turning away.
Third-person deep POV—
Allen shook his head. It was
moronic the way Zen fawned over his wife’s parents.
The loser threw open his mouth,
faking a long laugh.
Moron.
Allen turned away.
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A first-person narrator never
needs to identify his or her own feelings and thoughts as being their own. So,
the third-person viewpoint character doesn’t have to tell his readers over and
over what he or she is thinking or hoping or seeing or feeling. Readers
understand the thoughts and hopes and visions and feelings belong to the
viewpoint character.
The writer who uses deep POV for
his viewpoint character doesn’t have to use markers to tell readers what a
character feels—
Melissa reluctantly stuck her
hand into the pouch. She thought there was no way she could back out of the
dare gracefully. She wiggled her fingers around. She felt slime ooze between
them.
Melissa reluctantly stuck her
hand into the pouch. There was no way she could back gracefully out of the
dare. She wiggled her fingers around, wincing when slime oozed between them.
Using Deep POV rather than the traditional third-person subjective, can
cut your word count while keeping the intensity high. It can also keep readers
deep in the fiction of the moment rather than reminding them that they are
reading a story.
Markers used to remind readers a
character is reporting that he’s doing something—felt, saw, watched, thought
and so on—become a barrier between readers and the events and emotions of the story.
They keep readers one step removed from story events and a character’s
feelings.
Removing those reminders pulls
your readers deeper into the story’s events and deeper into the character’s
mind and heart. When you remove visual physical barrier, the psychological
barrier is also separated. Then the reader dives even deeper into the fictional
world.
Of course, being in a
character’s thoughts and emotions for the length of a story can make readers
antsy or induce a sense of claustrophobia. It’s quite okay to draw back at
times, to step away from that Deep POV.
When Deep POV is too much
At the opening of a new chapter,
help the reader look through a distance lens. Allow scenes to gain perspective
and provide relief from Deep POV. Go
from the big-picture shot, shifting focus until your viewpoint character is
again in the frame, then you can let him or her resume the storytelling.
Switching viewpoint characters
lets readers get the view from inside a different head. This gives them a break
from the intensity of a single character’s viewpoint.
Richard Draude
IT and Graphics Administrator
