5 Senses
We all use
description in our writing. We describe characters and settings, actions and
reactions. Most of what we write is description of some sort. By using the 5
senses, we can broaden our descriptions from a list of attributes to an
experience for our readers.
Touch—How do you describe touch? The word
feel/felt is passive so how can we describe how something feels without using
that word? Let’s think of some words that describe something that you've touched.
Silky, smooth,
rough, scaly, sticky, slimy, hard, soft, ribbed, slick, grainy slippery…you get
the idea.
It’s not the
adjectives themselves but how they are woven into the nouns, verbs and phrases
that will truly help a reader know how an unfamiliar, or even familiar, object
feels. Let’s have an example.
He ran his hand through her _______
hair.
A little cliché, I
know. But what if we didn't go with the obvious choice? What if we chose sticky? This would have a huge impact on
his reaction.
He ran his hand
through her sticky hair. He stared at his fingers, squishing them together. The
skin peeling apart from top to bottom and then he did it again, fascinated at
the suction the sugary substance caused.
We've all
experienced that as kids and, while unexpected here, we get a clear picture of
how sticky feels.
Smell—We all know what things smell like.
Describing the actual smell without using comparisons can be a challenge. Let’s
think of some words that describe smells.
Foul, sweet,
burning, smoky, pungent, fruity, rancid, decayed, fresh, stale, dusty, minty,
woody, earthy, sweaty, musty, dank.
How would you
describe fresh cut grass? Or, the smell of baking bread? How about the smell of
a dirty diaper? These are all things we have smelled before but putting words
to a description can be hard. A lot of times we rely on common experience of
the readers to fill in the blanks. When we write things like, fresh cut grass,
or the smell of baking bread, or even dirty diaper, they definitely evoke
something in each of us. But because everyone’s experiences are different, what they think of will not be the same
as what the writer intended.
Scent also has the
strongest connection to memory. Who hasn’t walked into the house while cookies
were baking and thought of visits to Grandma’s or baking with Mom? But we can’t
just rely on ‘tells’ and the readers experience to describe scent. As an
exercise, try using adjectives to describe the following. Some may be harder
that you think. If you come up with a good one, share it in the comments.
·
Fresh
cut grass
·
Baking
bread
·
A
garden/your favorite flowers
·
Two-week-old
leftovers in the fridge
Taste—How would you describe the taste of salt
to someone who has never eaten it? Not as easy as it sounds, is it? Especially
since we use ‘salty’ as an adjective. So, on to the list of taste words.
Salty, sweet, sour,
sweet and sour, savory, rich, tangy, bitter, bittersweet, fruity, starchy,
flavorful, raspberry(or all the fruit flavors), mild, spicy.
When writing about
taste, your goal should be to evoke the memory of a specific taste in your
reader by giving the description of the item and the characters reaction to it.
She loaded the chip
with salsa. Opening wide, she crunched down and chewed rolling the tomatoes,
peppers and lime flavors around in her mouth. She smiled at her date, but then her
eyes watered and she gasped for air. She swallowed the mouthful and the heat
slid down to her stomach. Drawing in a deep breath, she plunged her head into
the punch bowl, cooling the burn with huge gulps of the sweet, fruity drink.
Or how about the
taste of ice cream?
He slid his tongue
over the cold scoop on the cone. Flecks of bittersweet chocolate mingled with
the sugary cream. He closed his eyes savoring the mix of flavors.
Draw on your
personal experiences and sensations to help the readers identify and make their
mouth’s water.
Hearing—Sounds are important to our lives. If you
describe a setting and leave out the sounds you haven’t given the reader a
complete picture. Would you describe a carnival without the barker yelling, the
music of the merry-go-round floating on the breeze, a bell ringing and people
cheering as someone wins a prize, and let’s not forget the shrieks of the
daring souls brave enough to ride the roller coaster. These all add to the
setting.
But sometimes we
can use sound to convey action.
Pop! Pop! Pop! He
ducked, bullets peppering the wall above his head.
This is called
onomatopoeia. These words imitate the natural sound of things. Think of them as
sound effects for writers. Here are some examples of onomatopoeia.
Boom, crash, pop,
splash, drip, plop, warble, whoosh, croak, whistle, giggle, growl, bawl, clang,
clap, clink, slap, thud, buzz, chirp, meow, moo.
These words mimic
the sound they describe. They are often found at the beginning of a sentence
and signify the sounds themselves. They can also heighten the tension or
surprise the reader as in the example above. So don’t forget the sound of your
setting for a complete picture.
Sight—Last of all is sight. As writers, we are
used to describing the visual aspects of our characters and setting. But we
have to remember to make them part of the story and not just a laundry list of
description. Here’s an example.
He was tall, about
six feet. He had blond hair and blue eyes. He wore blue jeans and a black
t-shirt.
Pretty boring,
right? Now let’s make it part of the story.
I looked up into
his face when the gun cocked. The boy’s blue eyes shifted around the alley.
Switching the gun to his left hand he wiped his palm on his tight, black
t-shirt. He turned and ran away, his messy blond hair blowing in the wind.
Making the details
part of the action makes it more interesting for the reader.
Using color can be
tricky. Ally Condie stands out to me as someone who has mastered the use of
color in her writing. Here are the first few paragraphs of her book Matched.
Now that I’ve found the way to fly, which direction
should I go into the night? My wings aren’t white or feathered; they’re green,
made of green silk, which shudders in the wind and bends when I move—first in a
circle, then in a line, finally in a shape of my own invention. The black
behind me doesn’t worry me; neither do the stars ahead.
I smile at myself, at the
foolishness of my imagination. People cannot fly, though before the Society,
there were myths about those who could. I saw a painting of one of them once.
White wings, blue sky, gold circles above their heads, eyes turned up in surprise
as though they couldn’t believe what the artist had painted them doing,
couldn’t believe that their feet didn’t touch the ground.
Those stories weren’t true. I know
that. But tonight it’s easy to forget.
She uses color
seven different times in that passage alone. Never once did she ‘tell’ us
something about the color. She didn’t tell us her dress was green or the night
was black or even that the painting was of angels. She ‘showed’ us the thoughts
of her POV character and worked the color in. So let us find better ways of
using sight in our writing to make it vivid.
By employing all
the senses in our writing, we don’t just tell our readers a story, we let them
share in the experience of our characters. We can evoke emotion and memory. We
can create well-rounded settings and vivid, colorful pictures. So go forth and
try something new. Expand your descriptions to artistry.
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